The end of 2015 also marked the finish of an era in our household. On December 31st 2015 our household became learner and provisional driver FREE, bringing to the end 8 years of log books, supervised driving, looking and checking for plates on cars, reduced driving speeds. While this is a celebration for the provisional drivers, I felt a sense of loss. It is another step of letting go, my brood growing up and me being ‘needed’ less.
2015 was a tough year for letting go, some grieving mixed with celebration as my brood fly the nest and come home to roost less often. I know that ‘once a mother always a mother’ is very true, and if in doubt check your Facebook newsfeed which will confirm this almost daily. As my children gain their independence and set their own direction the mothering becomes less hands on and changes shape.
As the mother of grown –ups my mother role changed from commandeer to counsel. This is very evident when driving with any of my children. After many years of being the supervisor and prompting the learner driver to check blind spots, notice the pedestrian or suggest they slow a little I am now very clearly reminded that “I know how to drive mum, I have my full licence”.
I am but a passenger.
Its tough to change.
In August last year I attended a wonderful retreat, which I wrote about in my first blog. Over the two days, with the help of mentors I started to plot a new course for the “broodless” me. I had new time on my hands and I could feel myself getting into a very lazy rut. I needed to lift myself out and look forward.
I did a few lists, charted a course. I am writing, starting with this blog. I never dreamed the enjoyment of creativity and expression that I procure from this medium. I have found that a picture or two work well with a blog post, so that opened up an unexpected door for me – building a library of my own photos to use. I have dived into family albums and with a new camera my spare time is filled with a new found passion, looking for new stories and photo angles. I love this new journey I am taking.
I can do this new role of mothering…I think.
Have no doubt I still worry about my young. Mothering does not stop. I am nervous when one is driving down the Newell Highway on a seven hour journey for her first work placement, I wait anxiously for the next message from another while she is travelling India for the first time, I continually hope my eldest remains well and realizes her dreams. These are constant feelings and I’m no different to any other mother on earth.
These emotions are mixed with new loves and passions. I am learning to do this. I hope you are gaining some enjoyment as you share this road with me. There might be some turns and bends and some hills to climb, hold on for the ride.
Let’s see where 2016 takes us.
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