It’s been over five years since I last wrote a blog — almost six, if we’re counting.
For a long time, I didn’t have the words. Or maybe I had them, but they were buried somewhere under the fog.

Now, it feels good — strange, but good — to feel that creative spark again. Like coming home to a part of myself I’d forgotten.

Where have I been?
Fighting the Menopause Monster.
It’s brutal. It strips you of who you are, drains your energy, steals your sleep, and leaves your joints aching and your confidence shattered. I didn’t recognise myself for a while there. But slowly, I’m finding my way back.

This is a short reflection I recently wrote for World Menopause Day, the beginning of a bigger story. My Story.

When I look back on the last decade, I now realise how deep into the depths of menopause I had been propelled.

The brain fog, the anxiety, the aching body, the slow fade of self —
it crept in like fog at dawn.
Subtle at first, then suddenly everywhere.
Every decision felt impossible.
Every task, like dragging a boulder.

I thought I was just lazy.
But with the clarity of hindsight — it was menopause.
My body swirling in a quagmire of symptoms I didn’t even have a name for.

It shook me so deeply, I left a career I loved after 25 years.
It just “wasn’t me anymore.”
The truth? I wasn’t me anymore.

Doctors told me I was too young.
That it was depression.
That I needed to lose weight.

They didn’t listen. They didn’t see me.

So I tried to start my own business — with zero confidence and max self-doubt.
I tried a few roles. Landed one.
It’s satisfying, but learning new things has felt like climbing uphill in the dark.
All the while, menopause burned like wildfire beneath the surface —
unpredictable and consuming,
scorching the woman I used to be.

In desperation, I turned to the internet.

Then — everything changed.

✨ I found a podcast: The Imperfects with Dr. Louise Newson.
She described me. I felt seen. I felt less alone.
✨ Then I found Wellfemme.
A menopause GP finally treated me with oestrogen gel.

And within a week?
🎵 I sang in the car — LOUD.

It had been years since I’d heard my own voice like that.

Now?
I’m laughing again.
Dancing in the rain.
Hitting health goals.
Living with confidence that was gone for far too long.

If you meet me now — you are meeting the real me.

Not the menopause monster that haunted my body for almost a decade.
I’m so grateful for those raising their voices, for those who supported me, and for those who forgave the version of me that was simply trying to survive.

❤️‍🔥 You are not alone.